Online dating advice archives.



Online dating advice

June 23, 2016 Isn’t the point of going online to get offline? (No need to answer that. I think it’s pretty clear!) So many people ask me, “How do you just get offline?!” Or, “When is the appropriate time to

online dating advice

5 Scripts to Have in Your Online Dating Arsenal — When to Use Them and Why They Work

Online dating can be a roller coaster — thrilling with your hands excitedly raised above your head at times, holding on for dear life at others. And while many think finding a potential match’s profile is the hard part, many know

5 Photos NOT to Post in Your Online Dating Profiles

What you write in your online dating profile requires careful thought — after all, it’s giving the reader (a potential match) the first impression of who you are and what you’re all about. But photos require an equal amount of attention,

The Two Components to Getting Over Someone

I was on the phone earlier today with a client who, unfortunately, is fresh out of a relationship and going through a breakup. She asked me, in no uncertain terms, “Can I speed up the healing process? How can I

How to Get Past Ghosting

I’m going to come right out and say it: ghosting hurts! If you’ve ever been ghosted—that heart-sinking feeling when someone you were connecting with or dating suddenly disappears without a trace—you’re not alone. Far from it. Ghosting can be hurtful

“I Can’t” Means “I Can’t” & “I Won’t” Means “I Won’t”

A client recently reached out to me to ask for advice on a dating situation. (This is not news… it’s my job!) After a “great” first date, the man told my client that he’d be interested in connecting again but noted that he was looking for “something casual” because he was recently divorced. She said that despite looking for a long-term relationship, she thought she was okay with something casual since she liked this guy and had other family-related responsibilities to take care of at the time.

Is Summer a Good Season for Dating? The Pros and Cons of Warm Weather Wooing

If you Google “best time to start a dating profile,” you’ll find no shortage of answers. Some are based on personal experiences and some are based on research or polls, but there is a wide range of answers. My thoughts? There are pros and cons to every season when it comes to dating — and summer is no exception.

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do

I got this question the other day:

“What’s your advice on getting back into the dating pool after a breakup? Is there a certain amount of time one should wait? Or, is it a case of getting back on the horse right after falling off? My heart was broken recently… and my friends are telling me to get back out there and date. My walls have been built back up again and I don’t know if I can date anyone right now. What would you recommend?”

How to Explain a Bad Date, With Help from Psychology

What went wrong on your last date? The way you answer could change everything about how you approach your next one.

An Outdated Profile May Make you Lose Out on a Date

Many years ago, I had a client who was on an online dating site, and someone she was interested in had a really cute picture of himself with a dog. So, when she reached out to him, she said, “What a cute pup! What’s his/her name?” The guy replied and, rather than being flattered that my client reached out, he instead accused her of stalking him: “How did you know I had a dog? Did you look me up? What else do you know about you?” She promptly wrote, “Look at your fourth picture.” End scene.

What Not to Write in Your Dating Profile: Turning Negative Statements into Positive Outlooks

As a dating coach, I’ve read a lot of online dating profiles… which also means that I’ve read a lot of bad dating profiles. There are many things that can turn me (and my clients) off to a person’s bio — from bad grammar to lack of photos to rants about politics — but perhaps the worst perpetrator is general negativity.

All People Are Different People

In anticipation of Season 3 of Ted Lasso (which has not disappointed as of yet!), I decided to re-watch the first two seasons. And, while the show is an obvious comedy, there are some nuggets of wisdom in there that I certainly couldn’t have written as well as the writers did, even if I tried. And one of these nuggets is, “All people are different people.”

We Can’t Predict the Future, So Enjoy the Present

Rather than trying to predict the future and plan your course of action based on that fictitious future, instead, go into each situation on its own, open to any outcome.

Words of Wisdom for Dating in 2022

Words of wisdom for dating in 2022

You’re Not “Still Single”

December 26, 2021 A client sent me a text recently asking, “Can I ask you? Why am I still single? In your opinion? Maybe I’m not putting enough effort in? I want love to find me! Arghhh!” I actually get

Sympathy or Solutions?

Sometimes, someone calls you and starts to vent about something. Human nature (at least mine, and most people I know) is to jump to finding answers or solutions when, in fact, the person on the other end of the phone simply needs someone to just listen, sympathize, and commiserate.

Can We Apply the KonMarie Method to Relationships?

What if it’s time to let an old relationship go?

It Doesn’t Matter How You Met

April 12, 2018 Every year, I host a big Passover Seder, and this year it happened to be just a couple weeks ago, on March 30th. If you’re not familiar, Passover is the Jewish holiday that celebrates (with lots of

Don’t Get In Your Own Way

November 8, 2016 It’s easy to talk ourselves out of something, isn’t it? We usually do this when we don’t think things will go our way, so we “didn’t want it anyway.” About 10 years ago, when I was still working

How to Take an Online Date Offline

June 23, 2016 Isn’t the point of going online to get offline? (No need to answer that. I think it’s pretty clear!) So many people ask me, “How do you just get offline?!” Or, “When is the appropriate time to

15 Quick & Dirty Tips for Your Online Dating Profile

March 2, 2016 You haven’t written your online dating profile yet? As any intrusive relative (we all have them) would say, “You’re not getting any younger!” This is before the requisite pinch cheek, of course. When you’re ready to take the leap

10 Phrases You Should Delete from Your Online Dating Profile

September 14th, 2015 Depending on how long you’ve been on an online dating site, you can probably relate to that déjà-vu feeling you get when it feels like you’re reading the same profile over and over again. Somehow, everyone is

Let’s Go Shopping… For a Date?

December 15, 2014 I mentioned once that I felt a bit like Carrie Bradshaw when I sat down to write my first ever dating column many years ago. Just as Carrie would have shopped for clothes on Sex and the

How to Win the Dating Game

July 30, 2014 I play mahjong. It’s true. I know I’m a bit younger than the average-aged player (though I’m not sure why it trends that way!), but I love my weekly mahjong games. I play with a group of

Obstacles to the First Date

July 2, 2013 We all know what an obstacle is. According to our good friends Merriam and Webster, an obstacle is, “something that impedes progress or achievement.” Now, what if that “something” is you? In dating, there are so

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

June 4, 2013 We’ve all heard the expression, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” In general, things that are worth it take time. So why does everyone think that Mr. or Ms. Charming will simply come knocking on your door